The Art of Being Two

Have you ever longed to merge with someone?

I confess - I have.

My heart feels so open, I love so deeply, and I value connection and intimacy so highly, that I have caught myself longing to merge with someone I love… 

I believe longing is part of the human condition.

And I believe that longing to merge with another human stems from the deepest human longing of all, which is the longing to return to god / universe / love. 

We will not experience the fullness of that return to source until death.

So until then, our bodies yearn for experiences where we remember oneness. 

I’ve felt that remembrance many times:

In dance.

In song.

In breath.

In meditation.

In nature.

In love-making.

It feels like dissolving the edges. A slipping out of the itchy clothes of separateness, and into the smooth nakedness of union.

Today, in my somatic coach training with @rachelcruickshank_ and @natalieshilton, we explored the importance of individuation.

To connect deeply, we must also remain distinct. There must be an edge between us. There must be a you, and a me. An awareness of self and other. A clarity: where I begin and where I end. Where you begin and you end.

This clarity doesn’t create distance. It doesn’t dilute intimacy. It deepens it. It says: This is me. This is you.

And from that place - that sunny hilltop - we can truly meet another being.

I feel like I’m in a season of further individuation right now. Some of my friends are too. We’re getting clearer on our boundaries, our edges. Learning (often the hard way) where we end and where the other begins. 

It feels like a collective upgrade. A push from whatever’s left of any co-dependent comfortable nests. Learning how to fly gracefully with our own wings, whilst still reaching for each other, not from lack but from wholeness.